But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
