so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
