i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
