I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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