Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
