She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i think im in europe. pls send help
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
