Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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