Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
