my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What a dumb baby whore.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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