is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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