waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
