Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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