with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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