I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
