we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize