I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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