About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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