stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
