i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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