How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
