it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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