Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
