hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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