He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
