I wannas sexs uuuuu
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
