At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
