just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
