final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
