U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
