I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize