You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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