god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize