i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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