Slut skills are useful in every country.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
