I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
