This girl is more easily done than said...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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