You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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