I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
