i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
