Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
