are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
