dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
