She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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