We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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