Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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