i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
