I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
