...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
