at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
