everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
