do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
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