he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
