I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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