I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
