Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
