I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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