my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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