I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
